_I had a wee run in with some bleach fumes a couple of days ago. The bleach won that particular battle but I, fortunately, won the war...I hope.

Without going into a ton of detail, due to no fault of my own I unintentionally inhaled bleach fumes because of someone washing a floor nearby with a strong concentration of bleach and water. A lot of bleach fumes. Enough fumes to make me feel "loopy" - that being a technical term. It left me with an allergic reaction that lasted for a few days and believe me I felt and looked crappy. I was actually concerned there for a while. I was wheezing and sneezing so much and my lungs and throat hurt that I was afraid it might affect my singing voice. It's only been a couple of days but my body has done its work and has started to rid me of the toxins I inhaled. We are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made and I am trusting that everything is going to be OK.

I was looking online for some details on bleach, in particular inhaling it's fumes and came across the following -

Exposure to High Concentrations of Bleach can result in eyes burning, nose irritation and coughing. Exposure to extremely high levels of bleach, such as 500 ppm (a concentration significantly greater than household bleach), could result in respiratory damage, chronic bronchitis and airway hyperactivity. In some cases, death can occur. Always wear the appropriate equipment and protective masks when working near high concentrations of bleach. According to the Hazardous Substance Emergency Events Surveillance, a report published by the state of Maine, you should always report any symptoms that may occur, including coughing, nausea, shortness of breath, watery eyes, chest pain, irritation to the throat, nose and eyes, and wheezing.

Interestingly enough all of the underlined symptoms were my particular symptoms over the last couple of days.

Today, once I was feeling a bit more human I Googled some more, in between bouts of playing online Scrabble - SIDELINE NOTE: NEVER PLAY SCRABBLE WITH A DOCTOR - THEY KNOW MORE WORDS - and I came across this site. The Hidden Dangers of Cleaning Products. This is a worthwhile and quick read. Obviously the writer has read my prior blog posts., although he's not nearly as funny as me. As a matter of fact I'm sure he wears very sensible glasses. But, is this not what I have been preaching these past few months?

There is a better way. A cleaner, less toxic way to do things. One that doesn't leave you wheezing. One that you don't need to make sure the doors and windows are open for proper ventilation. I should say I do have bleach in the house. I use it maybe twice a year and in really low concentrations. For the most part I use vinegar and baking soda. I should buy stock.

Vinegar is a natural disinfectant. Straight 5 percent solution of vinegar—the kind you can buy in the supermarket—kills 99 percent of bacteria, 82 percent of mold, and 80 percent of germs (viruses).  You can drink straight vinegar - I don't recommend it, but you could. You can't drink straight chlorine bleach. Isn't that proof enough?

If people really thought about what they were spraying about their houses, mopping their floors with, washing their dishes, counters and bathrooms with, they would stop dead in their tracks. Please stop dead in your tracks and think before you drop dead in your tracks for good.

It WAS elementary.  Like the old bumper sticker "I found it" ... I think. I found the main culprit of the 'blossoming'. The main cause of my general girth. Especially in the winter months. It is ... drum roll please ... movement or lack thereof.

Now for those of you who actually read my posts you will know that step number one on my Journey to 50 was and still is "move with purpose". I have been doing that for the most part. I still have to remind myself, but there is definite improvement. As a matter of fact, I have been pretty good lately with all of my small changes. I have been noticeably eating slower. Consuming Smaller portions ... sort of. Drinking my water. etc. But still. With the recent time change I am more aware this year than other years at how much the clock change has affected my lifestyle. Suddenly taking the dogs out for a quick walk when I got home from work stopped. It was too dark to go outside. The darkness brought with it inactivity. Sloth like inactivity. Let the blossoming begin.

So last week even though I wrote about chocolate (a particular favorite post of mine), I decided that my change for the week would be to wear a pedometer for the month of November. This way I could see just what was happening throughout the month. I knew that I would more than likely get competitive with myself and the darn numbers, but I wanted to get an accurate reading of what my typical days were like.

It went something like this.

_Monday - I typically work from home. I took the dogs for a couple of walks. I purposefully moved around more. Every time there was recycling to put away, I wouldn't be typical and let it pile up - I ran it downstairs and put it in the box. I worked a regular day, but was more conscientious of my movements. I had a rehearsal in the evening and parked farther away and walked more. I racked up over 15,000 steps that day. Easy Schmeezy I thought. That was no work at all - just a regular day. I felt great about it all. Silly girl.

Tuesday - I woke up and took the dogs for a walk in the morning. I worked at an office that has stairs and other employees. I used the stairs a few times. Walked to others in the office when I needed to talk to them. Was more active. I had to pick up something for the dogs at the store so I parked far away and added as many new steps as possible. It was too dark to walk when I got home. But, tThat evening I moved about as much as possible. Getting up off my duff to get stuff. Not being a slug. I logged 7500 steps. Half of what I did the day prior. Hmmm.

Wednesday - I took the dogs for the morning walk and walked a bit further than I normally do. I had 6,000 steps done before I went  to my next client. At this particular client's I typically work on my own. I'm on my butt all day. By the time I got home I had a further 500 steps. What? 500 steps. Lord have mercy. Fortunately my daughter and I played Michael Jackson Wii (which was so much fun btw) and I was able to get the pedometer up to 8600. Still not even close to Monday's numbers.

_Thursday - I had an early morning meeting and couldn't walk the dogs. Somehow I managed 6,000 steps, but I'm not sure what I did. I inhaled some bleach fumes at this particular client's and I'm not sure what I've done since that day. I've been incoherent and ill ever since - but that's another blog post.

Friday - I was ill all day from the bleach fumes, but I did take the dogs for a walk at some point. I managed 6100 steps.

Saturday - today so far 700 steps and its noon. Still ill from the fumes. It's so sad.

_So that's it. It's been really eye opening for me. I am terribly sedentary even with the added movement of walking with purpose. Walking every morning is not cutting it. The lack of movement involved with my job is taking its toll. The standard is 10,000 steps per day to be considered moderately active. Remember I am not going for athlete here. I'm going for healthy and doable in the long term. I'm not even coming close. Herein lies the problem. Identifying the problem is half the solution is it not? So what to do? I can't change jobs at this point. I'm already adding incidental movement into my life and can up that to an extent, but clearly I need to do more.

_Change #10 - 10,000 steps or more per day

I'm guessing that since I can't take an evening walk for now, I'm going to have to Gazelle or dance away or something similar in the evenings and keep my movements up to 10,000+ steps per day.

I just need to start feeling better first. I'll give myself a couple more days rest to get rid of these toxins and start again on Monday. Until then ....

Oh Chocolate - I long for you. We have been lovers for so long now and yet you still make my heart go pitter patter whenever I see you.  My mouth waters at the very thought of you.

We had fun this last week no? It was sweet. Indulgent. Satisfying. A week I will not soon forget. I love you. I will always love you. You will always be a part of me.

It's you and me forever my dear sweet chocolate. Ahhhhh ...

Hormones. We all have them. Increase one type and you can grow facial hair and have an incredible urge to raise the toilet seat and watch football. Play with the levels of another and you think about eating your offspring for dinner and question just how much the life insurance is on your spouse. Add mental pause to the mix, or the decade long intro to full blown mental pause and hormone fluctuations can wreak havoc on your life.

That's where chocolate comes in. Every once in a while I crave chocolate. Not, "Oh a piece of chocolate would be nice right about now." It's more like. "I want some chocolate now. Me need chocolate now. Now. NOW! I SAID NOW!" Chocolate is good at any time, but there are times for me when it is a necessity. This week was one of those weeks. I had to go to the grocery store this week to get something small. While I was there the craving took over. At first I told myself no. But I wasn't listening to me at the time and I certainly wasn't taking no for an answer. The conversation went something like this.

I want some chocolate.
No, Cayla. Not now. You don't need chocolate.
Don't tell me I don't need chocolate. You and your stupid rules. I'm a grown up dammit and I want some chocolate now.
No. You can have some dinner when you get home.
What? Let me guess, you're gonna give me some vegetables? Oooh, maybe some more Kale? Yum. GET ME SOME FREAKIN' CHOCOLATE NOW DAMMIT!
OK. OK. You don't have to get nasty - geesh.

So I gave in to my craving and it was heavenly. I bought a bar of dark chocolate with some almonds. Oh my. I told myself that I would only have a piece or two, or three. I ate the entire bar. It was amazingly good and I enjoyed every piece and I didn't and still don't feel guilty one bit. I felt so much better after.  It was awesome. Its not a daily occurrence. It's not even a monthly occurrence. It's an occasional indulgence - that is the eating an entire bar part, not the chocolate part. I eat chocolate all the time. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I love chocolate.

And its good for you. Chocolate is loaded with antioxidants. Chocolate can help promote cardiovascular, skin, and brain health by dilating blood vessels, improving circulation, lowering blood pressure and cholesterol, reducing risk of stroke and heart attacks. It reduces stress. Ifs full of mono unsaturated fatty acids - which in plain English means it attacks belly fat. Yup. It's true. And the particular bonus - it can protect the body from aging. Let's hear it for chocolate. Chya!

But not all chocolate is created equal. Your Halloween candy indulgence this week of all your kid's Mr. Big bars don't really cut it. Dark Chocolate is where it is at. 70% at least. Invest in yourself by purchasing a good quality dark chocolate.

Did you know that you can have an ounce of chocolate per day and it's considered healthy? One ounce of dark chocolate is only 151 calories, 9 grams of fat, 17 grams carbs and 1.6 grams of protein. Add a glass of red wine to your routine and you are packing one power punch of anti aging, good for you not to mention that its a delicious and indulgent treat. Thank you science!

So I have a recipe that I want to share. Something that I made up over the past few years, although I'm sure there is something similar on the internet as I am not that original.

I make a Blueberry chocolate oatmeal that can really hit the spot in the morning. And for me this past week, it really helped keep the hormones and stress at bay.  I'm not going to give you measurements - I'm sure you can figure it out.



Prepare your oatmeal as you would normally (I don't use the quick kind I use good old fashioned rolled oats). Ratio is 2:1 Water to oatmeal. Now grind up some flax seeds (1 TBSP per person) Flax seeds are great to have around. They are a cancer fighting powerhouse and full of Omega 3's. The reason I say to grind them up is they are better for you that way. The shell is hard enough that you might not get all their powerful benefits if you decide to chew for yourself. Add the ground flax to the oatmeal.

Season with pinch of salt and pepper. I know sounds weird, but you don't taste the pepper. However, if you eat it slow enough there is this little bite at the end of your pallet and you're not quite sure where it comes from....its the pepper.

Add some frozen blueberries to the pot (at least 1/2 cup per serving) - no need to stir, but if you do fold in gently. Blackberries are great too - both are loaded with cancer fighting, anti aging antioxidants. (Any vibrant coloured berry is good).

Bring it all to a boil. Turn the heat to minimum, cover and simmer for 5-10 minutes.

When the oatmeal is ready add some cinnamon if you like (adds even more antioxidants) and some good quality real vanilla extract (1/2 tsp or so). Stir gently. Then throw in a handful or so per person of good quality dark chocolate chips. Fold them in gently so not to disturb the blueberries or turn the oatmeal dark brown - but if this happens its not the end of the world. I just like the chips to remain intact and not melt completely so that they are this little morsel of surprise in every bite.

Spoon into bowls and pour some milk, or don't that is up to you. Your decadent breakfast is served.

This oatmeal is really quite yummy and so healthy. The thing is you have fueled your body with really good stuff. It tastes like you're being bad but you're not. The blueberries, chocolate, flax and cinnamon are powerhouse foods. The oatmeal is a great complex carbohydrate. And it tastes great I promise. Enjoy it. I do.

I promised myself that I would be truthful in this blog.

I would tell it like it is including the lesser than stellar moments. This week everything went to Hades in a hand basket full of food.

For those of you who don't know in June 2012 I turn 50. Oh-my-God! I decided to make a small change in my life each week during the next nine months on my journey to 50 and blog about it. My goal is to hopefully figure some things out about me, and prove whether little changes do make a difference over time. Right now my focus is on my lifestyle.

It's like a death scene starring Lucille Ball. Sporadic kicks of the legs. The head pops up. An arm twitches. The eyes open. In other words my inner Sumo Wrestler isn't dying easily. It's been a rough week.

I'm really not sure what was the reasoning for it. I don't know whether I reached my limit of things to think about at one time - meaning 7 changes are too much for me to do at once. What will I be like with 39? Maybe it is hormones. Stress - there was a lot of work stress this week. Or a combination of the three. This is all I know. It all fell apart.

Here are the changes I've attempted to incorporate into my life so far.

1. Walk with purpose.
2. Drink 6-8 Glasses of water
3. No cream in my coffee
4. Eat slowly
5. Walk 6 days per week (with intervals - faster walking)
6. No snacking in the evening
7. Portion Control (kill the inner Sumo Wrestler)

I don't think I managed to keep one of those goals this week. I kept finding myself walking like a slug on vacation. I'd get home from work and my water bottle was still full. I even met a friend for coffee and put cream in my french roast. I don't remember my last walk with the dogs. No snacking in the evening was a complete gong show. For example one evening my husband and I had a 'date' night at home. Dinner consisted of a platter of food - Triple Cream brie cheese, Asiago and Artichoke dip, olives, tomatoes, olive oil and balsamic vinegar, breads, red grapes and wine. I ate slowly alright - dinner lasted all evening. There was a fire and a romantic movie. It was really nice, but too much food. Way too much food. And heavy. Oh, I feel sick just thinking about it.

In other words, I blew it. I failed miserably. AND I spent way too much money on food this week. My cupboards were bare and I mean bare, but still - I spent too much.

How do I feel about all of this? Honestly? Pretty lousy. Out of control. A failure. The feeling of peace and contentment that I was enjoying so much has vanished. But I've lived on this earth long enough to know that success comes out of failure as long as you pick yourself back up and keep going. So that is what I am going to do. Pick myself up and keep going.

Today is a new day and Monday is a new week. I was thinking during the week that maybe I should take a week off of adding another change and focus again on the basics to get myself back on track and yet a change whispered in my ear yesterday and again today. So I am going to keep going and add another change for next week.

Week 8 - Chew On This Baby

I'm still eating too fast. When I think about it I'm eating slower than I used to - but still faster than I want to. It's like I'm tapping my foot thinking "Ok, can I take another bite now?" chew, chew, swallow. Gulp some water. Tap, tap, tap goes the foot. Repeat sequence. I read a while back that it is recommended to chew your food 40 times before swallowing. Have you ever tried that? It's ridiculous. The food feels like a version of baby food, and mushy. Horrid.

For example after 40 chews that delicious steak you were enjoying becomes the consistency of pablum with the same flavour. 40 chews is not for me. And to be honest the thought of actually counting the number of chews seems infantile and I am rather mature. So I am going to chew my food until just before it begins to feel revolting.

Apparently there are benefits to chewing your food slowly...

• Releases vital nutrients into your body. I read somewhere - I don't know if its true or not - but it was on the internet so it must be right? Anyways I read somewhere that prisoners in concentration camps used to chew water to release stored minerals - that's how they survived starvation. Whether or not that is true, I have read that your body receives more nutrients from the food you eat when you chew, chew, chew.
• Pre-digests your food - "Yummy" Your stomach has less work to do and you get less gas and indigestion. Let me be clear, I don't get gas! Ahem! But, you know this is good to know, just in case.
• Weight Loss - When you chew, you eat slower and get full on less food, spend less on groceries. What? That's like so up my alley. Although my inner sumo will just think its a longer time to eat - yippee! It's all good!
  
• Helps you taste your food thus making eating more enjoyable - Your taste buds get more time to enjoy every single bite! Yup, until the texture becomes revolting. The trick I think is to stop before that happens.

So, how one chews broth or jello I'm not sure nor am I going try 'cause that's just silly. I will go to my foot tapping method for that one, which isn't silly at all. But if I am eating a sandwich; a salad; an apple - in other words a food with texture - I will chew, chew, chew.

This week will be better ... right? I hope so.

I'm not going to tell any of you whether I own or wear a thong, but I will say this I don't have any ambition of looking like a Sumo Wrestler while wearing one ... that is if I owned one ... or took it out of the drawer ... I'm not telling.

I love food. I think that's pretty apparent by now. (To all two of you) And I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I love food and I'm proud. That's me. That's who I am. I get enjoyment from cooking for others, from celebrating with food, from sitting around the table with my family and devouring a great meal. Why would I want to take that from me? I don't. And that's that.

I also love real food. I am going to fight to the end the whole diet thing. At my age the thought of deprivation isn't that appealing. To be honest, is deprivation appealing at any age? Not really. I don't want to cut entire food groups. Now don't get me wrong - this is about me and not a judgement of anyone who is reading this. If you have to cut out food groups because of allergies or a chosen lifestyle - all power to you. I don't have any allergies that I know of or that affect me greatly so I'm eating it all. I don't want to never have another piece of cake or homemade apple pie again. That is not living for me. I don't want to live on Tofu or grains I've never heard of. I do want to eat good real food that feeds my body and has flavour. Lots of flavour. I like flavour. I like food from all around the world. Italian. Greek. Japanese. Chinese. French (ooh la la). Indian. The list goes on and on. So let it be said - I love food.

This week has been an interesting week for me. This particular 9 month challenge has me looking at myself more closely than I would normally. And you should know, I do not know what my next 'change' is going to be from week to week. I don't have it mapped out. It appears at some point during the week almost as if saying "This is the next one Cayla." I mull over it for a few days until I feel that it is the one for me and then post it here. What am I to do when nothing happens? I haven't got there yet. Maybe I'll be perfect by then. Ha ha ha ha. I honestly don't know. I'll cross that bridge if and when I get to it. My goal though is to be true to me. Not what society thinks I should do, but me.

Last week, if you read my last post, I had a Julie/Julia party. I had such a great time with my girlfriends. I loved it. I was standing there at 1:00am washing wine glasses with this total feeling of peace and contentment. I hate doing dishes,but not that night. I had taken the time to spend it with my friends. I had some girl time. I had done something that was totally me. It felt good. I was in a great place. Then I saw some of the pictures. I was mortified with how I looked. I didn't want to post some of them. All of my friends are thin, and then there is me - Amazon woman. I couldn't believe how big I had become since May. That was at the beginning of the week. I posted the pictures anyways. Saying to myself, this is me. This is who I am right now. But internally I struggled. Then I had an epiphany. My friends, my real friends, think I am beautiful. The way that I am. Right now. Extra lard and all. I was not seeing what they saw. I had a distorted view of myself. They saw their friend. I saw fat. Ego. That is all that is. Ego. I have to look a certain way or I don't somehow matter? Ego. At 49 years old, I'm still learning. I have a big Ego. The big ego that stops me from auditioning for a role because I'm too fat. The big ego that stops me from going to a party or seeing a friend who when they saw me the last time I was thinner. Ego. Not living my life to the fullest. Ego. That has to stop. I finally saw it for what it was. It was my own doing. My own thinking. My own internal dialogue. Done with it... or at least trying.

My friend sent me an e-mail today that made me laugh out loud. I don't believe she reads my blog so that made it even funnier.

The first picture is of Gillian McKeith. Gillain is a well known advocate for a vegan/organic and holistic lifestyle. Complete with cleanses etc.  She is 51.

This is Nigella Lawson. She too is 51. A real woman who eats real food. Butter. Bread. Meat. She is an "hourglass figure with an extra 20 minutes thrown in for good measure". I lover her.

Nigella doesn't eat Ramen noodles. She doesn't eat packaged food. She eats real food. Good food. It shows. She's not deprived. She's healthy and beautiful.  Works for me. I'm sure she wont be found running around in a bikini any time soon. She doesn't look incredibly muscular. But she's drop dead gorgeous isn't she? She is obviously fine with who she is. Suddenly I feel better about myself.

This is me and the picture that mortified me. Since writing this blog I have gained 15 lbs. Fifteen lbs in six weeks! Crazy. That's not counting the ten the two months prior. Now lets be honest here in the last two weeks there was Thanksgiving dinner and then Julia Child night that had more butter in it than I usually have in month. But still fifteen pounds! I actually laughed when I weighed myself. What could be the issue? What has changed? I'm moving more. I'm drinking more water. I cut out the cream in my coffee.

Aha! During the budget challenge I ate way more beans and legumes than normal. They are very calorie dense. I stopped eating lean meats three times a week for a vegetarian/legumes protein rich meal. Also, during the budget challenge I continued to purchase organic yogurt but bought larger tubs as they were less expensive. The only thing is the larger tubs only come in full fat varieties and not the lower fat. So my regular diet has changed substantially because of the budgeting. And I'm still budgeting. Oh dear. Something to ponder. And ponder I will.

No change will happen until you make a change. An extra 15 lb wasn't exactly the change that I was hoping for, but it's OK. I'm here for the long haul and this is a process.

There is one change required that is glaringly apparent to me. You see I have an inner Sumo Wrestler inside me. Her name is Chikaze which means 'crazy chick' in English. My alter ego eats like there is no tomorrow. She is in training for her matches and looks awesome in a diaper, actually that is an awful visual and I should strike that. I can however eat any man under the table particularly at dinner. I just don't have the metabolism to go with it. Let's face it. I come from a family of obese people. It is in my genes. There are things that I do to add to my plumpness, these are not excuses trust me, but my naturally thin friends and family can eat without the huge fluctuations in weight - not me. This is a truth for me and I just need to accept it. My other truth is I do not want to live in a gym. I do not want to weight train as if I was a real wrestler. But really do I need to eat like the Big Show?. There are no men who read this blog so that statement isn't going to come off as cool as it actually is. So what is this Chikaze to do?

Week 7 - Stop feeding my inner Sumo

My challenge this week is to eat like a normal person. A woman who is 5'8". Not a bird. Not a diet. Not deprived. But normal. A serving. There is nobody who is going to come to my fridge and steal my food. I will be able to sit down and eat at the next meal. As a matter of fact I can make myself something to eat any time I am hungry - except the evening munchies as that is change number 6. I won't deprive myself of a thing so I need to let that fear go. Eat a normal portion. Eat it slowly and enjoy it (week 4 don't eat like a lunatic) and move on... and move on with purpose (week 1's change)

There I said it. Portion control. My most dreaded two words.

After all that I'm hungry ... time for lunch.

Oh the shame. For shame. For shame. For shame. How I have fallen the last couple of weeks. For starters my budget is out to lunch, or maybe I should say out to dinner. I am way over budget the last couple of weeks. Now I should point out that last week was Canadian Thanksgiving and this week I had a dinner party. But still - through the roof people. Through the roof. *sigh*

Yesterday was my dinner party and I don't think I drank any water. I was so busy preparing and fussing that I forgot. And then I got into the wine and the wine got into me and ohhhhh, the spring in my step has not shown up today. I wonder why?

I didn't have cream in my coffee, but I had enough butter to last a lifetime in one day - in one meal actually. I can actually feel the arteries clogging.

The only thing I did do was move with purpose. I had a purpose alright - people were coming over to my house! I was sweating I was running around so much. I at least did that.

Now for the success in all of my failures - I had a Julie/Julia party at my place with five girlfriends, my awesome daughter and myself. What a blast.

Here was the concept -

• Dress Code - Pearls and Apron mandatory. Clothes under apron optional.
• Copious amounts of wine to be consumed during the entire evening.
• No boys allowed. (Side note, my hubby couldn't get out of the house fast enough. He was great though. He gave me my evening)

The food - Julia Child's ...

• Chicken Coq Au Vin
• Steamed red potatoes in butter and parsley
• Romaine hearts with Julia's Roquefort dressing
• Chocolate Mousse with Crème Anglaise (Made by moi prior) - that's a whole other blog post.
  

The entertainment ...

• french music playing softly in the background,
  
• watching my friends cook like Julia, and of course
  
• enjoying the movie Julie/Julia after dinner.

Nothing like inviting your friends over and making them work for their dinner. What a brilliant concept if I do say so myself.

I have to tell you how the evening started off though. I was rushing about in my red dress, pearls and heels. Full make up and hair curled. I'm ready to go. I'm running about setting up La Stations with their various items - knives, cutting boards, chicken stock etc. and Molly (my little obnoxious beagle whose going to be in Beagle Stew one day) was sitting on the couch wagging her tail at me. She could sense something exciting was going to happen soon and that usually means food. And food to Molly and me for that matter is exciting. So as I'm rushing about I hear this rather odd sound coming from the couch area. I look up only to see Molly open her mouth and spew fire hydrant force puke all over my couch and floor. It is 4:45 pm my guests are arriving at 5:30 pm. You see, little sweet Molly had been playing outside earlier with the neighbours. I guess she decided to drink the ocean water. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, our dear sweet Molly. She sprayed ocean water and regular water and other little nuggets like a fire hose. I've never seen anything like it. In one 'spew' from that little body she managed to drench all three sections of the couch, the coffee table, the back of the couch, the pillows and the floor. I just stood there. Looked at Molly who was looking like she had just been caught digging in my laundry basket. Looked at the disaster that was my living room.  Looked at the clock. Then back at Molly. I wondered what  Molly Coq au Vin would taste like. I gulped down 1/2 a glass of wine and yelled "Molly!!!!!" Then I took a deep breath.

There I am, red dress, red heels, red lipstick and I'm pulling puke covered covers off of my couch and running downstairs to the laundry. Do you realize how difficult those cases are to get off under pleasant circumstances? Try it all dressed up. There was no way that I was going to have this laundered and dried before my company arrived. I started to panic. Then I thought "Who was I having over? The Queen? No." They were very dear friends and one acquaintance. They would be able to deal with it with no problem. So I stopped fussing and went to work.

My guests were just fine about it all and just laughed. When the couch was dry they all grabbed a case and stuffed away. It did throw me for a loop though. I don't think I was 'present' for the first hour and a half of the evening.

I set up La Station Une, Deux and Trois. At each station there was a duty to be performed whether it be vegetable prep; browning the chicken (don't crowd the pan girls) or braising pearl onions (I actually found pearl onions - I was so excited). We laughed. Made a lot of mistakes, but I was there to bring them all back in line like the task master I am.  "Read people!" I would say. "Read the damn instructions." Lord.

The second little mishap, besides the girls NOT FOLLOWING THE INSTRUCTIONS, was when we were all sitting in the living room enjoying nibblies and wine waiting for the chicken to bake in the oven whilst the potatoes were steaming away. The buzzer on the oven went off. We all ran to the oven to get a whiff and taste our creation before the next flurry of duties began only to discover the damn oven wasn't on. The oven wasn't on. The oven wasn't on? What???? OMG PEOPLE? I"m telling you La Station Une, you're lucky your good friends and I adore you. I looked at the oven. I looked at Station Une friends. I looked at the clock. I looked at the Coq au Vin. Then back at Station Une friends. Then I took a deep breath. Oven on. Potatoes off. Back to the wine and the gossip.

The third little mishap was when I was (yes it was me this time) straining the finally cooked Coq au Vin into a bowl. My La Station Une girlfriend was using a spoon to get every last bit out of the pot. The pot being a very heavy cast iron dutch oven. I lost my grip. It crashed to the counter. Right on to a wine glass, which of course smashed, along with my spoon rest - never liked it anyways. My girlfriend swore that the glass smashed outward and not upward and there was no worry of broken shards flavouring the Coq au Vin. I looked at the broken glass. I looked at my girlfriend. Would have slapped myself if I had not been holding that blasted pot. I looked at the clock.  Then back at the broken glass. Then I took a deep breath and got back to work. There was sauce to make.

On a side note, my daughter's lovely boyfriend (who was dog sitting downstairs on a Saturday night and got a plate of Julia's food for his efforts) found a big hunk of glass on his chicken. oops. That's what he gets for being a boy at a girl's only party.

Dinner was finally ready. We sat down. Cheers and Bon appetite. We began to eat the fruit of our labour. We became very quiet. The french music was playing softly in the background. The food with all the mishaps was delicious, fabulous actually. The sauce was to die for. Heavenly. We were transported to Paris. It was lovely. I looked at the food. I looked at my friends savouring each bite. I didn't look at the clock. I looked back at the food. I took a deep breath to soak it all in. Then I chowed down.

After our fabulous dinner, and I mean fabulous, we talked. and talked. We are girls after all. I made some 'french roast' coffee and pulled out the dessert. Again it was quiet. Something about chocolate and women. More heaven. We capped the evening off watching Julie/Julia. What a great movie. We all laughed when Julia talked about drying the meat before sauteing (something La Station Une got in trouble for not doing at first) and then again for not crowding the pan (again La Station Une) - truly they should have been on a team with Molly the Beagle.

It was a real girls night out, and the mishaps just added to the evening ... except for maybe the puke, I could have done without the puke.

Now I'm back to my reality. I have fallen off the wagon, actually more like leaped off the wagon - I am crawling back on. I am back on budget damn it! I'm cheap remember? Today I'll get all my water in. Moving with purpose will be an issue, it's already two and I still have slits for eyes, but I'll try. I'll interval tomorrow I mean come on now, lets not be cruel. I have to come up with another small change for next week - let me think ... here it is.

Week 6 - No evening munchies

No snacking in the evening. That one is going to be tough. But it is a bad habit for me, and I'm sure the source of a lot of blossoming. So that's my next challenge and a challenge it shall be. I'll let you know how it goes.

First let me say Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

Second let me say that I'm sure glad I didn't have a portion control goal in place for this weekend. The turkey was awesome - if I don't say so myself.

Now on to the matter at hand. I personally don't like gyms. If I have a choice of being outside enjoying nature or inside a gym sweating, I'm going to choose nature any day. If given my druthers I'll be outside walking the dogs. Believe me I'm odd. For a couple of years there I walked with Rocks instead of weights. I felt more 'grounded'. Two good sized rocks easy to hold on to and a brisk walk. I must have looked like an idiot. I also walked race horses for a couple of years while I was building my business clientele. I loved it. It paid next to nothing, but I loved it. I love walking. To me it's not exercise. Which is the way that it should be isn't it?

I can remember in my thirties when I was extremely happy (even though my personal life was in turmoil) and oddly enough rather thin. I danced almost every night. I was doing a lot of theatre or singing at the time and we would go out as a cast after almost every performance. We danced, and danced and danced. Gosh it was fun. The word exercise wasn't even in my vocabulary during that time. And I never stepped foot inside a gym. I glowed. I look back on those times with a real fondness. That's what exercise should be - fun. Not work.

I walk almost every day. I'd say at least 6 days a week. I take the dogs for a walk once a day for at least for 35-45 minutes. Sometimes I do it twice a day. I've picked up my pace while walking the dogs as per week one's goal "Walk With Purpose" but I've been walking for years. I also eat like a Sumo Wrestler (something I am going to have to address sooner or later) so thank goodness I at least walk.

Every winter I blossom. You thought blossoming only happened in the Spring and Summer? No, you are mistaken. I begin blossoming in the autumn and don't reach my full plump potential until January. It's quite remarkable actually. If you watch me closely for long enough you'll see me growing right before your eyes. I figure there are three main reasons for this - lack of Vitamin D due to less sunshine, less walking due to shorter days and weather, and eating copious amounts comfort food. I need to tackle this issue. Also, my current walking routine, although enjoyable isn't really doing anything as far as changing my body. My body is obviously used to it. I need to step things up.

One thing I've noticed while "Walking With Purpose" is my heart rate would go up for a few seconds as I would walk briskly up the stairs, or to and from the car etc. I'd be breathing deeply, not panting, and then my heart rate would go back to normal in a few seconds once I was stationary again. I thought "Huh. This is sort of like interval training without interval training." which got me to thinking. If while I was on my walks I sped things up a few times during the walk - my heart rate would speed up for a bit and then go back down once I resumed my regular pace. I could interval train while walking. No extra time commitment and certainly not a lot of work. I can do that.

Week Five - Step up my Stepping Out

So this is rather easy, since I'm already walking. It can be as small as 10 seconds or as much as 1 minute. I'll play it by ear. The thing for me is I don't want it to be like exercise. As soon as I start feeling like I'm at a gym I'll start complaining. But if I make it a game - like how fast can I get to the next sign post, and play with the dogs while I'm doing it then it stays away from being exercise.

Now for the issue of weather and shorter days. My days of getting two walks in one day are numbered. Even daily walks could start having issues. I need to put a goal in place that is going to keep me moving.

I do have a piece of equipment at home. Grr. gym. Its a Gazelle. Don't laugh. An Olympic athlete may not use it. But then an Olympic athlete isn't going to consider a daily walk as exercise either now is she? And the Gazelle is an awful lot like walking, but easier on the joints. I kinda like it. Put on the music and walk away. So I commit to either walking outside or inside on the Gazelle 6 days per week.

Maybe I can keep the winter blossoming to a minimum.

Life can be interesting. Now that is an understatement isn't it?

I've had a discovery over the past week or so. It took me a while to figure out what it was, I'm rather slow that way. But I am feeling more content. The feeling hasn't left. Through minor family issues, hormonal upheavals and work stresses there has been one constant - a feeling of contentment. A feeling of peace.

I've been trying to figure out why all of a sudden this sense of peace and contentment. Nothing on the outward has changed. Life is still basically the same. My husband still can drive me crazy. The workload is the same. What is it? Then it dawned on me. Since writing this blog to the possibly two readers out there (thank you to both of you), I have made changes in my life. Simple changes and I've focused on little things at a time. I am a better steward of my money, thanks to food budgeting and planning my meals each week. And now with this 9 month challenge I am slowly making changes to my personal self. One tiny change at a time. Not everything at once. But one thing at a time. Which means that I can ease up on myself a lot. I only have to focus on those few things. Walking with purpose. Drinking my water. No cream in my coffee. Eating Slowly. That's it. The rest doesn't matter. And I feel content. What a glorious feeling! I'm making positive changes to me so I'm not wallowing in my normal pit of guilt that I should do something about it. I am. I can handle the changes because they are simple and not time consuming. Contentment. How surprising. It's a surprising outcome like the sense of freedom I got from budgeting our food purchases. I like it.

I just wanted to share it with the two of you.

My husband works with race horses. That's one of the many things that attracted me to him. He also has a wry sense of humour, another thing that attracted me to him. He often tells me that if I were a racehorse they'd have to take me out back and shoot me, or at least put me to pasture. Apparently my gait, isn't up to standards. Pffft. I say to that.

One thing I am good at is eatin'. I'm real good at eatin'. And fast too! I may not be a racehorse, but when it comes to eating I'm a Triple Crown winner. Actually we all are. I can slave away at a dinner, set the table nicely, light the candles and put out the fine china. Then we sit down look at each other and dig in. Stainless steel scraping china, forks are shoveling, mouths are bulging like squirrels storing for the winter and nary a word is spoken. All that can be heard is grunts of approval, slurps and smacking lips. No burps. That's rude.

I was thinking about it. I go to all this work to prepare great food for my family and I don't even bother to stop and taste it. I swear dinner takes us 5 minutes max. We're masters at the art of shoveling down our gullets past the speed of sound. Sounds like a good challenge to me.

Week 4 - Don't eat like a lunatic

I've heard about this my whole life, but never paid attention to it. But, now that I'm making these small changes in my life, this seems like a good one to do. There's science behind it too. It apparently takes 20 minutes for your body to register that its full. Twenty minutes? Ha! I'd have to eat dinner a crumb at a time, or eat my meals with chopsticks. it makes sense though. If I stop and actually taste what I've prepared, I may enjoy it even more. Slow down and I may end up eating less. At the very least I'll look more like a lady and less like a trucker.

I have to say though, unlike last week's challenge, (no cream in my coffee) this challenge is going to be ... well ... a challenge. I have been eating this way for at least 47 years. I'm not sure why. It probably has something to do with being the youngest and having to eat quickly before someone else took the food of my plate and ate it themselves. Usually my mom. But meal time shouldn't be a race. It should be enjoyed. I at my breakfast slower this morning. I was still done pretty quickly, but I noticed the salt on the fried potatoes, and their crispiness. They tasted really good. I had fried an egg and put it on a slice of toast that had been topped with some spinach, a tomato slice and Parmesan cheese shavings. When I slowed down I could taste the bite of the Parmesan cheese, and the creaminess of the yolk. It was a rather tasty breakfast. It sounds promising. I love food. Just think how much I'll love it if I actually taste it. What a novel idea.

So that's it. I will try very hard not to eat like a lunatic.

Updates on prior challenges. Walking with purpose is still not a habit. I keep catching myself moving slowly. But as soon as I do, I pick up the pace. I'm sure it will become habit one day. Won't it? The drinking water is going just fine. Thigh ankle ratio update. I read online that one of the causes of swollen legs and water retention was from being in a seated position for a number of hours, causing a lack of circulation. I knew as soon as I read it that that was what was happening with me. So, while working during the day, I challenged myself to get up and walk around for a few seconds on every even hour. It worked like a charm. Within two days my ankles were back to normal. ***happy dance***

No cream in my coffee went just fine. But you should know there is cream in my fridge. I'm making some mushroom soup this week and the recipe called for cream. I did my week three challenge with it sitting right there. Didn't break down once.

There you have it. You are all officially up-to-date. Four challenges down, thirty-eight to go. 

Some of you may have noticed - I like to cook. I like to cook different types of food. Lots of different ethnic styles. Lets face it - my mother was Scottish and except for Scones, (pronounced Skawns by the way - there mom I made you happy) porridge (why would they take credit for that is beyond me) oh and lets not forget Haggis (no witty comment required) there isn't much to choose from. Being Canadian, I can't think of one national food. I guess there is maple syrup and smoked salmon. I put maple syrup on my oatmeal in the morning so I am covering all of my roots on that one. And I'm not a fan of seafood so the smoked salmon doesn't float my personal boat. That was a round about way of saying why I cook a lot of varieties of food. Which brings me to the reason of this post. Cooking odors.

Last night we had a party here in the neighborhood. Last year the men were all dressed as women and it was quite the sight to behold. This year only one male neighbor was wearing a dress and a new one at that, a black sequenced number, complete with hairy legs and chest. But that was about it. The other costumes were rather tame by comparison. There was the standard vagrant, pink flamingo and my next door neighbor walked around all night with a rubber chicken. Nudie Joe's costume was well .... clothes. It was a fun night.

So, I made and brought Prawn Vindaloo (if some of you have read other parts of this blog, you will note that I had three bags of frozen prawns in my freezer) I finally found a use for them. :) Unfortunately, I woke up this morning to the smell of curry. Now when I'm cooking curry and having it for dinner I don't mind the lingering smell. It reminds me of my efforts. But the smell of curry with my morning oatmeal is not so appetizing. Instead of pulling out a spray of chemical who knows what with which I would inhale those same chemicals all day. And when it was all said and done, the spray would only mask the offending odor I made my own ...

"Smell Be Gone!"

Some Vinegar
Some Water (equal parts with vinegar)
Some Orange Peel
Some Cloves

I put it in a pot on the stove and let it simmer. Now for some reason instead of wanting to watch a Bollywood Movie I want to put on some Christmas music. Go figure. Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la la .... Tis the season ...